I wouldnt be crying over spilt milk. I would just mop it up with paper towels!
But would you cry about spilt money?
I had an envelope. It was full of cash. I left it on our buffet, next to the plans for our home extensions. (It's where I put important things). Over the week, students come to me for music lessons. Their parents pay me cash. I put the cash in an envelope. This week I guess there was about $225. (Dont worry, Im not the main breadwinner around here!)
Do you think I can find it?
Things have gotten messy around here lately. I've been busier than usual. Then, my husband took long-service leave. I think he tried to 'tidy' the buffet. He promises me he did not move my envelope. I'm not sure that he didn't, but I can't get mad at him for simply trying to tidy up.
Yesterday I searched everywhere that envelope could conceivably be, including the paper recycling, and even the entire garbage bin. You know how it is. You look through all your handbags and all the pockets of your clothes you wore during the week. Then you look under the seats of the car. And, the boot of the car, just in case. Then you check down the back of the couch cushions. Then you check all your handbags and pockets again, just in case you missed it the first time. Then, you start looking in crazy places, like the lego box, just in case some kid put it in there. I even thought of looking in the washing machine. When it gets to that stage, you are just going around in circles and you realize its time to stop.
"Here, let me help you look," offered my husband.
By the time he offered, I'd already done all the looking I was prepared to do. And now I was very, very frustrated.
"That's fine, thanks. I can't find it. I'm just going downstairs for a while," I said.
I went in our room and shut the door, which is my way of saying, "Don't bug me unless you want to get yelled at."
Actually I was so mad, I just wanted to go all Godzilla on everyone and rip their heads off...
"Why the **** does nobody ever tidy up after themselves? If it wasnt such a mess around here, my money which I worked SO HARD for would never have gone missing."
"Who the **** tidied the buffet? Who touched my ******* envelope? I know somebody touched it, and it wasn't me. Why do you have to go and MOVE things so I cant find them?"
Those are the things I would love to say. But I am not going to. I cant be sure that I didn't move that money myself and put it somewhere completely stupid. For one thing, it wouldnt be right of me to yell and scream at my family for making a mistake. But if I made the mistake myself, AND yelled and screamed at them? I would really kick myself.
So I bit my tongue and went downstairs (with smoke coming out of my nostrils) where I could do no harm.
To me, $225 is a whole lot of money. But because I earned it myself, it means even more to me. If it was money that came out of savings, or credit, it wouldnt mean so much. I feel silly saying it, but to me that money is special. Its not been very long now since Ive been able to bring in income to help our family. What it means is I'm able to pay for groceries and such, while we use my hubby's income to pay down our mortgage and also save for the occasional holiday. Im proud of that.
I still can't find it. I think, somehow, it's not going to turn up. Sigh.
I'm grateful for the fact that even though I can't find our grocery money, nobody in this house will go hungry (unlike some poor folks). I'm grateful that I still have my job, and there will be more cash rolling in next week. I'm pleased that I didn't go all Godzilla on anyone, even though it took all my strength not to.